Body image: The paradoxical reality of it all
3
35
Isn't it funny the way our thoughts and feelings about our bodies fluctuate just as much, if not more, than our bodies do!? It is completely absurd to me that as a species we find any way that we can to tare ourselves apart, especially our bodies despite all that they do for us without a single hesitation.
A little bit of reality for you:
This is a subject that I know effects so many people, me being one of them. I am not afraid to admit that for years I have struggled to be on good terms with my body image, up until recently. Now, I am not saying we get a long 100% of the time, probably more like 70-80%, but I have gone from crying about my body probably daily to celebrating it in it's many different phases and forms.
My go to thoughts would be:
My hip dips are too much. They make me look manly
I have such a petite frame AKA I have no curves, I look so stumpy
My boobs are too small
My belly is so fat
But the beautiful reality of it is that I am more than just these things. And so are you.
And did you notice that all of these things are out of my control? I have no say in my fat storage and distribution or my bone formation or my height. So why get caught up on these things? And the answer to that, we are human.
We will never be happy all of the time, or positive, or grateful but on the flip side, we wont feel sad, angry, resentful etc. all of the time either. They are all temporary. So how ridiculous would it be to only focus on the things we dislike about ourselves, especially when they are most likely things that are out of our control and will only be temporary anyway!
So here is what I have done and you are going to do.
Become self aware. Become aware of your thoughts and feelings and track them either keeping a journal, keeping it in your phone or keeping a mental note. You are looking for patterns in thoughts, patterns in timing, patterns in triggers. Once you find where and why these things are coming up you, only then can you move towards a healthy relationship with yourself.
On bad body image days instead of trying to ignore or reject your feeling by choosing to over-ride them with positivity, aim for neutrality. Don't praise or shame your body, simply observe what it can do and be grateful that it breathes without asking, it knows how you want to move without asking, it sends you signals constantly to keep you alive and safe without you asking.
Move and nourish your body not out of shame or guilt but out of love for your current and your future self. Our bodies are designed to move but it is our brains that have become unaccustomed. So, when you feel poo about yourself, get the happy hormones flowing by exercising because you CAN and not because you SHOULD.
Be grateful for you body. It is one of the most complex machines on this planet and it is yours! How bloody lucky are you! It has carried us all through all of the good and the bad moments in our lives and for that we should be so thankful.
We only have 1 body. 1 body for our whole lives. OUR WHOLE LIVES. Rest in the knowledge of that. Let it sink in because although we think we have forever and we think that 'oh I'll start again next week' your health, and your body, are your responsibilities. What really hit home for me was hearing someone say
'imagine being on your death bed and realising you never lived your life, never went to the beach, didn't wear that outfit, didn't do the x,y,z because you hated your body. '
And that was probably one of the saddest thing I had ever heard.
But the biggest shift in my relationship with my body image happened when I began to prioritise my health over my appearance. I stopped pushing it through workouts 6 day a weeks and began listening to what my body wanted. Moving with care, love and understanding towards my body. And ironically, this is when my body actually began to look like how I had always wanted it to.
It is because I moved from acting out of fear, shame, disappointment and began acting, speaking and living in love.
So let this be a reminder. Your body is your only home. The only one. Treat it with love and gratitude or even neutrality because this life is too short to spend your whole life mad at your body for not looking like somebody else's. xx
